I feel like the only time I ever come on here to type a post is...when I'm upset. So I will try to be neutral today. Will try to look at the situation from both sides, the happy and the not-so-happy.
October has been an interesting month. My relationships have suffered, I have been offered a job, and my family's come to terms with a decade old problem with me. I feel like I am in limbo, and unsure about where to go.
Things with A have been at the forefront. Due to female-celebrity-bestie 's disappearance, my social life has gone down to non-existant. Chilling with A is pretty much a daily thing now..to the point where we have run out of things to do/talk about and so resort to our favorite topic: cars.
I'm a little bit confused about what is going on with A and I. Okay, very confused. We have fallen into a comfortable pattern of things..a stagnant yet comfortable place. And then every now and then, he will go out and do something which will show absolutely no regard for me or any other relationship he may have. Last night's happenings were...okay not entirely his fault (D took him out)...but they were proof that it is harmful to nurture a relationship with A. Sooner or later, in his need to find himself, he will step on somebody. And if you are close enough to him, he will step on you.
So here I am. Aware of my dilemma. And aiming to improve the situation. But how. Such a big world, such a small part that I fit into. So many options out there, yet only one option that is right for me. Where do I begin looking for it? And...when I find it, how will I know its the right one?
No comments:
Post a Comment